Blog Update for Today's Internet

So as of this post the Steve:Sean post ratio is 5:2. Honestly, I can't help but feel a little... well, intimidated. Hell, I'm not even busy or anything, and I'm not posting. God, I'm a tool.

Eh, sorry, that was inappropriate. I'll limit the emotional outbursts for now and take some time to tell you all about a great man: Bill Dance.

Bill Dance is an angler fisherman. He has his own show. That's pretty much everything I know about this man. I have never seen an episode of "Bill Dance Outdoors" and I really have no desire to. What I do know, however, is that this man is responsible for some of the funniest bloopers ever made.

You'll find plenty of blooper reel videos all over the internet: cats clawing genitals, bridesmaids toppling over each other, newsmen mistakenly muttering "FUCK" with their mics on. But there are no bloopers that seem to match the sheer scope of Mr. Dance's fishing mishaps; the way constant misfortune follows this man is near-Shakespearean. Watch Bill knock a cameraman into a pond, only to worry about the camera equipment more. Marvel as Bill somehow manages to hook his fishing line onto his own nose. Weep as Bill kicks the crap out of a harmless tree snake. And of course, gaze wordlessly as Bill completely fails at following his own advice.

For me, these bloopers go beyond the realm of simple giggles at another's misfortune and become something of a character portrait: a sad old man, stuck in his home-grown fishing ways, constantly being shat upon by Mother Nature herself. Hearing Bill shout "Oh good GOSH" - respectful enough not to use the Lord's name in vain even at the height of his frustration - is truly a moment for the ages.

There's two absolutely brilliant Bill Dance videos I meant to link here but haven't been able to find recently and must have been removed from Youtube - one of Bill throwing his fishing rod across the water in rage over a musical montage, and one of Bill trying to finish a Chevy Truck ad while cows moo over his every word, the latter of which may amount to the definitive Bill Dance moment. Until those videos are found, Bill Dance fans can either search for him on assorted internet video sites or buy the entire blooper DVD anthology for the low low price of $11.49 American. Now that's a deal that'll make you squeeze mustard all over your pants. (Eh, sorry, bad Bill Dance in-joke. In a perfect world, everybody would catch that reference.)

Before I go, I'd also like to say that I have witnessed The Simpsons Movie, and I have been thorougly underwhelmed. Don't be surprised if either Steve or I end up posting links to some of our favorite Simpsons moments from its Glory Days. Kinda like this one. Oh Milhouse, you card.

Enjoy the rest of your July, folks.

- Sean

Kanye West and Zach Galifianakis: Together At Last

This is absolutely the most ridiculous music video I've seen in a long time.

Comedian Zach Galifianakis sings Kanye West's new song, 'Can't Tell Me Nothin'

I recognized Zach Galifianakis from his guest spot on Tim and Eric's Awesome Show Great Job!, but upon further digging, he's been in Dog Bites Man, The Comedians of Comedy Tour, and is, apparently, a very popular touring stand up comedian.

Watch and share, keep on reading.

Improv 101 Redux

The time-honored tradition of this blog is to leave personal stories and experiences out and strictly keep the comedy in. With that in mind, I’ll breeze over the details of my past week in New York City and leave you with the real meat and potatoes. Last week I started Improv 101 at the Upright Citizens Brigade Training Facility, and, that very Sunday, I ended my whirlwind education with a graduation performance at the UCB Theater.

The experience was humbling, very fun, and opened up in my eyes the wonderful world of New York underground comedy. That being said, I want to share with everyone just a tad of what I got to experience.

I had two teachers during the course of the week, Joe Wengert and Gavin Speiller. And, as a service to them and a service to you, I’d like to share with you some pretty funny stuff.

Gavin, my afternoon teacher, seemed very familiar to me, and after a few moments I realized that he was the star of the Channel 102 show Cakey! The Cake from Outer Space. Cakey is one of those things that…that changes you.

Joe, my morning teacher, was a familiar face from my favorite internet sketch, Cufflinks.

And, to close things up for this update, I generally don’t like pimping out my own stuff, but considering how deep into the grip of Harry Potter most people are, I figured I’d share this Harry Potter sketch that my group, Precious Roy, made a few years back.

See you later,
-Steve

Hello there, I am not Stephen Winchell

Hey there internet! My name's Sean Rose and I'm the Vice President (and currently the other half of) Wilhelm, a brand-new UConn-based sketch comedy group that I guarantee you will be really great. Steve and I decided to form a group because we both think that we're really great and funny guys and we figured this would be a nice way to boost our egos even further. That may make us delusional, but hey, it feels pretty good.

Haha, see, that was a little self-deprecating joke there! I hope you enjoyed it. But in all seriousness, we're going to be having auditions very early on during UConn's fall '07 semester (probably sometime in September) and we're hoping for a nice turnout. I'm sure plenty of you will be seeing Wilhelm fliers all over campus next year. For some of you, these fliers will become a nuisance very quickly. But for those of you who think you are "funny" and enjoy "comedy" you will love and cherish these fliers, because they are made just for you.

What we're really looking for are smart, talented people who can write and perform sketches with us - people who genuinely love comedy. We're also looking for dedication; people who have a thousand club duties on campus or can only make one meeting a semester need not apply. Also it helps if you have the same taste as us, 'cause I think we have pretty good tastes. If you're a brilliant comedian and you happen to think that "Accepted" is a great film, I have to admit, I will kind of think less of you. (We'd probably let you in anyway.)

Anyway, I can't think of anything else to say, so I'll get the ball rolling and post up some links to some of my favorite sketches.

- I'll start off with my favorite Mr. Show sketch, "Shoecourt Shoe Interview". One of the best, tightest sketches I've ever seen. "IT WAS FOR CHARITY!"

- I can't decide on my favorite Kids In The Hall sketch so I'll go with "Citizen Kane". It seems to sum them up pretty well. Sorry for the crappy quality.

- Here is my absolute favorite Will Ferrell moment, the "Mr. Tarkanian" sketch from SNL. If you've ever wanted to hear Will Ferrell shout "Get over here you crazy black man, I'm going to make you drink my piss" or "I am this close to raping you" on live television, then this is the sketch you've been waiting for.

- Hey, here's a funny Stella short I just watched for the first time like five minutes ago! Hurrah!

- And finally, to delve into the unintentionally hilarious-barrel, here's a little Gamepro TV. No, it's not a sketch, but if you've been playing video games for as long as I have, it might as well be the most entertaining video on the internet.

Have a good night, folks. (See, saying "folks" makes me feel rustic.)

- Sean

When Dave Matthews Takes a Prolonged Pause, We’re All Gonna Scream

(This essay was featured in my friend Paul's blog, Stuck In Chicago, on July 12th. I laughed. Enjoy! -steve)

When Dave Matthews Takes a Prolonged Pause, We’re All Gonna Scream

by Evan Colmes

Everyone got that? Is that agreed upon? I don’t want to be the only guy in the standing room only section cheering Dave on when he takes an extremely long moment of silence in the middle of a song. There’s a reason why he doesn’t have those 20 second long pauses in his records, and that’s because he’s counting on us. The fans.

Alexis, Ted, you listening to me? I know we’re still on the highway, but now is a good time to think about what you’re gonna be screaming. “WOOO!” is fine for the first few intervals, but by the second encore, if all you got is a tired old non-word, well then maybe he just won’t go into that eight minute scat solo for us.

I know, I’m freaking out here, too. That would totally ruin our plan to smoke our last blunt during the encore scat breakdown. That means we have to meet him halfway. So Ted, use your deep voice as an advantage. Maybe a deep, hoarse “I LOVE YOU DAVE!” would be funny, or even “I WISH YOU WERE MY DAD!” That’s bound to get everyone else into it, and hopefully the energy will spread like wildfire. Alexis, we’re counting on you to yell out this list of obscure songs we all want to hear, seeing as you are the most attractive. If he gives you eye contact, we’ve got him hooked for at least one classic rock cover. Get in there, and don’t let him go.

Now, I know there have been some nervous thoughts, for instance: what if everyone around us is just there to get drunk and high, and not watch Dave? Maybe they’re all there for the party aspect, which is awesome, don’t get me wrong, but they could totally kill our Dave experience. We could also be in front of some young kids and their dad, who’ll make it his personal job to ruin our DMBuzz. I’ve had nightmares of those parental shoulder taps, or even worse: passive aggressive lines such as “Should you really be shotgunning that joint in front of my kids?” That could potentially threaten our party with Dave, and don’t think I haven’t shivered at the thought.

But we can’t dwell on the negative, guys! As of now, there’s a plan: I’ll score us free weed with the rich pushover kid, Ted is the muscle who can protect us from drunk Bros and rubber bullets, and Alexis is the chick who’ll get dudes to buy us beer and be with us when we ask girls to show their tits, cause it’ll be less stalkery. We’re all in this together, so let’s stick together.

So start drawing up a list of things we can scream when he takes those pauses. I know it’s your guys’ first Dave experience, but let me tell you: if he’s feelin’ it, he’ll take a whole song’s length to get his quiet point across. One time I saw him where he stopped one song because he thought he was gonna sneeze. The whole band just stopped and waited. It would have been hella awkward watching him struggle with his allergies, but we were there to catch his back. Every time he pulled back with an “Ahh…Ahh..” we were already screaming him into his next bug-eyed, passionate guitar jam breakdown when he finally did sneeze. It was an experience, and if we don’t prepare for anything and everything, this whole road trip would have been a waste.

Plans for the Week

So, I am off to New York City for the week. While there, I'll be studying Longform Improv at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater, which I already highly recommend for those of you trying to make their way in this whole comedy business.

What does that mean for all of you? It means a show in the near future! That's right, I will be performing on Sunday, July 22nd, at 1:15PM. The Theater is located at 307 West 26th Street (between 8th and 9th Avenue). So if you need an excuse to go into the city on a Sunday, look no further than myself and a bunch of strangers just grasping the basics of Longform Improv.

In the interim, Sean will be posting as frequently as he can. I'm going to leave you guys off with an essay my friend Paul wrote, but, other than that, I'll see you in a week.

-Steve

Welcome to Wilhelm on the Web!

You've finally found it. Congratulations. I know you've been searching and traveling for a while. Well, here it is.

Welcome to the official weblog for Wilhelm, UConn's newest Sketch Comedy group. As of this writing, Wilhelm is composed of myself, Stephen Winchell, and the Vice President and Chief Financial Officer, Sean Rose. We're both alumnus of the Agents of Improv, another UConn-based comedy troupe.

Wilhelm was founded at the conclusion of the Spring 07 Semester by Sean and I, and we hope to add a few more people to the mix once the Fall Semester rolls around. If you're interested in auditioning, keep in contact with either one of us, or keep an eye on this blog.

So, what is going on with this blog, anyway? Why bother keeping a journal about a club that hasn't even really been formed, yet? Well, there's plenty to be done here. Until things really get going in September, Sean and I will be updating this page with a few different things:

-We'll be posting links and compiling an archive of things we've discovered on the internet that we find entertaining and/or particularly funny. Think of it as a CollegeHumor without the money or the resources or the mass appeal.

-We'll be updating all of you as to the status of the developing club. There's still plenty to do; design fliers, work out audition schedules, ask for props, costumes, locations, etc. for filming, and so on and so forth. Just the kind of mundane things that you all love to read about.

-And, last but not least, we'll let all of you know what we're up to. Our buddies, colleagues, and the two of us have plenty going on that you all should know about. Check this place for updates on the scene.

A simple weblog. A simple mission.

To contact either of us, email WilhelmComedy@gmail.com . Keep your eyes open; we'll be updating pretty frequently.

-Steve