Daily Campus Comics - Finals Edition

So the semester is finally over, and if you've been following my updates since September you know that it's been a doozy, especially for the Daily Campus comics page. We've had some laughs, some awkward pauses, and even some tender moments (mostly thanks to EggSalad). But all good things must come to an end.

Some comics are staying in the paper after the break. Some comics are finished and are never comic back, ever. I bet you can't wait to find out which ones are leaving.

Well, let's take a look.


Lucid TV, for all intents and purposes, doesn't seem to be going anywhere. This is a good thing because Lucid TV is wonderful.

Hell, these are repeats from last spring and they're still great.


Brothers Watt will, as far as I know, continue to be the resident "pretty-funny-but-way-too-much-like-Calvin-and-Hobbes" comic in the DC next semester. That's fine, I guess. Every college newspaper needs at least one.

It will also continue to make "kids don't get old technology" jokes, I'm sure. I don't know. Why do people assume all kids born in the past decade or so are space-age technobuffs who sleep in the Silicon Valley with their futuristic doo-hickeys? Has the Brother Watt depicted in the latter comic been sleeping in a cryogenic tube half his life?

Eh. Maybe I'm just getting old.

Pirates and Ninjas will probably still be around next semester and continue to be zany zany zany. I haven't posted this comic much because I don't really care about it. It's kinda that one comic you just automatically gloss over, without even reading it. It might as well be blank space. There's really nothing there.

Wow, playing a 47-year-old woman in a play is pretty embarrassing, huh? Jeez, what an awkward moment. I can say, though, that this comic gives us what could be one of the most frightening punchlines ever delivered. Look at the man standing behind our protagonist in the last panel - lurking in the shadows, his shirt half-unbuttoned, his crotch oddly accentuated, his speech bubble creeping jaggedly down the side of the panel. "I play a 47-year-old man every day."

Thank god there is no fourth panel.


In lighter news, Poor Richard will still be around. It's a cute comic.

I wish I had more to say about it.

Here's an interesting case. In the comment page of our last DC comics update, I was taken to task by a particularly vigilant reader for not going after Phil, accusing me of favoritism since Stephen Winchell, Phil's illustrator, is a member of Wilhelm as we all know. Now, I've always considered Phil out of bounds for these entries since I expected Winchell to make his own little post about it.

But he didn't. And do I like being accused of favoritism? No, no I don't.

So let me put it this way: Phil is a comic for chumps. I could draw a Phil in my sleep. Hell, I could improve it in my sleep. Just watch and learn:

And there you go. Two seconds.

Noted improvements include:
-Full blazing color
-Character development (Phil's blond friend, who desperately seeks Phil's approval; Phil himself, who we can now see is an albino)
-Bodies, dynamic movements, and teeth
-Easy-to-read font
-From the get-go, we know EXACTLY who Phil is
-Funny, observational jokes anyone can relate to

Winchell, consider this a gift. I don't give this kind of valuable criticism to just anybody. Take it into consideration for next semester.

Oh, wait... that's Franklin Pierce, isn't it? Shit. Forgo everything I just said.

Yessir, Effed Up will still be around to charm us with its incredibly busy art. Sage advice here, freshmen: don't daydream while studying. Books will sneak up on you, and murder you. Presumably.

Whatever, it's Effed Up, we all know what to expect.

FTW will probably still be around, and will probably still make no goddamned sense.

You know, in retrospect, FTW is kind of a wannabe Pirates and Ninjas, which in itself is kind of a wannabe Based on a True Story. Kinda like how Sgt. Pepper's was influenced by Pet Sounds, which in itself was influenced by Rubber Soul. Great artists inspire one another.

Speak of the devil...

Based On a True Story is gonna be... oh, ugh, God. Eww. Ahhh... ohhhgggg.

OK, listen, I'm no prude, but I don't want to see the cast of Based On a True Story engaging in any kind of vaguely sexual activity. Ever. I mean, at least from a comic like Freshmen 15 I EXPECT to be thoroughly grossed out by horribly-drawn little people fucking incessantly.

I mean... ok, the joke doesn't even make any sense. Unless you're having sex in the goddamned snow. Seriously, Ms. Dunning, if you had just thought to yourself "Hmm, this joke is kind of stupid, maybe I'll hold back on drawing myself having sex," we could all be spared this... I don't know.

I would gladly see more of this:

Cutesy dumb shit. See? That's fine. And this:

See, this is... oh, God, who am I kidding. I can never look at these little cartoon people the same way again. It's like walking in on your parents having sex.

Ugh.

In other news, Musings of the Girl Next Door will also be around next semester. Also, it's gone a little batshit insane.


Yeah, that's not one, but two comics about ugly Christmas sweater parties. In the same week. To repeat a tired phrase, one would probably be too many.

Karen, I believe in you. I know you'll get back on track next semester. I don't want to believe that you're running out of ideas. I can't accept that.

Well, those are the comics that I know - barring some unforseen circumstances - will be gracing our comics page for at least another glorious semester.

But now, with a heavy heart, it's time for us to say goodbye to the new...

COMICS OF THE MONTH!

This month: Stickcat, Stiw Kit, and Freshmen 15

Yes indeed, ladies and gentlemen. The following three comics are officially kaput. Over. Done with. In the graveyard.

This is going to be rough.
So Stickcat is over with. I'm sure everybody on campus is cheering, eh?

Honestly, though, I would be lying if I said Stickcat was the worst comic in the paper. Hell, it's far from it. It's mediocre, sure. But it's hardly the worst. It's just been stuck at the very top of the comics page for at least two goddamned years, and it's never gone away.

But it's leaving now. Okay? Forever and ever. Hell, even Stickcat himself can't stand the comic anymore. Let's just move on and erase it from our memories forever.

So the writer/artist of Stiw Kit, Scott Daros, commented on our last DC Comics update, expressing some regret that he hadn't been included in any of our previous updates.

Well, Scott, let me set the record straight: I haven't posted Stiw Kit in this blog because I really, really enjoy it. It's remarkably well-drawn, charming, cute but not overly so, and is easily one of the best in the paper. Yeah, I've talked about Lucid TV and Poor Richard and other comics I've enjoyed in the past, but I very much regret not talking about Stiw Kit earlier. It's a fine piece of work and it's a shame that it's only been in the DC for one semester.

So to make it up to you, I'll plug your blog and be done with it.

Just as a bonus, here's one last slice of Stiw Kit loveliness before we get down to... you know, the ugly stuff. Enjoy it, folks, it'll be the last you'll be seeing in a while:


Well... okay. Let's get down to business.

I'm prepared.

Freshmen 15. Yes, it's leaving. But it's not leaving... without our souls.

So here's some standard Freshmen 15 for you, printed about a week ago. Like we expect, characters' heads are perpetually hugging the edge of the panels, as if they're peeking out from under something. We can probably attribute this to the artist's total lack of ability to draw... you know, people.

But for the last week, something unusual began to develop.


That's right. Full body shots.

But that's not that bad, right? I mean, it's not like it's gross or weird or anything. They're just full-body drawings of Freshmen 15's rat-haired protagonist. But... what could this be leading to?

Ohhh... ahhh... eeeeuhhh...

I... well, okay, come on now. It's not that bad. It's just... rat-haired girl's ass. Ughhmmmm.

Well, at least it's the last comic, right?

Err, wait, I guess it's not, there's one more he-

Uerrr. ah. AH.

AHHHH. OH. OHGGAHH.


MERRAHHHHH


GABAHHHHERAHHHH

...Heather Dunning, consider yourself forgiven.


-Sean Rose

BONUS!

Sean Rose's Pick: Best Non-Comic Text Printed in the Daily Campus, Fall '07