Shiny New Segment

hey all. Kress here
I sincerely hope that everyone's remaining days of 2007 are pleasantly drifting by. I, for one, will be glad to return to school and resume my life up north, but until then...
Upon some deliberation with the other Wilhelm gents, we made the democratic decision to start adding more content to our blog, so that we may lure more of the faceless masses sifting through the internet to us, much like the bird with the brightest feathers attracts more potential mates. Each of us is churning away on our own exciting and intoxicatingly hilarious segment to be posted on the blog at regular intervals in an attempt to add fuel to the fire of our collective comedic passion...
so open your mouth and close your eyes as i am about to spew forth my own comedic passion fuel, in a segment I like to call:

KRESStionable Behavior

Let's get right into it with everybody's favorite University president Mr. Mike Hogan. I have heard from a reliable source that Mr. Hogan has a parking spot on 24-hour reserve near Beach Hall. Not only that, but this parking space is not to be graced by any other Goodyears but his, as the "24-Hour Parking for President Hogan" sign in front of it flagrantly indicates.
Now, I can imagine the location of this parking space has some strategic value to our beloved prez, allowing him minimal travel time between his automobile and his various circular offices and ultimately minimal travel time between his home and those very same offices. I'm also aware that the duties of a president--moreover the duties of a university president--are many, and as such he is effectively on call for all 24 hours in the day. Should the need for his executive decision on a crucial matter arise at 3:45 in the morning, the last thing he should worry about is finding a spot in front of the building housing the big red button.
While I can recognize how having a designated 24 hour parking space could have some benefits for our collegiate commander in chief, i feel compelled to deem this behavior:

A bit KRESStionable

here's a man who, since his inauguration, has made it a point to get down on the student's level in an attempt to further reinforce the illusion of equality between students and their ivory tower administrative overlords. Call me crazy, but to my knowledge there isnt a person living and breathing on the university campus that has their own designated 24 hour parking spot. Seems to me like our good president hogan is being a jekyll and hyde president. Sure, he'll shake your hand and kiss your proverbial baby, but at the end of the day your ass is scrambling around X lot, trudging through rain and snow, while he's rolling into a sweet parking spot and enjoying prime rib and executive priveledge in a climate controlled circular office. Equality? Maybe that could pass for equality in Nam, mr. president, but here in america it looks like you're having your cake while simultaneously eating it.

How could president Hogan better himself and cease his KRESStionable ways, you ask?
My mindbrain can only think of but two options for our beloved prezzy prezzington.
The first route Hogey could take to restore his old mission of currying the student body's favor would be to 86' his paved private property and schlep like his loyal subjects. I officially challenge president Hogan to relinquish this one presidential perk and get to his office using the same means as the students. make a right turn out of your palatial estate's hillside driveway for a change, park up at W lot and stand shoulder to shoulder with the serfs. Ride a fucking bus, Hoges, and maybe you'll earn a little more respect from your people.
Another option for our boy is a more environmentally friendly one: cut out the gas-guzzling middleman. By my estimate, the distance between the front door of the presidential manor and the hallowed parking space is about a quarter of a mile. assuming president hogan travels to this parking space and back once a day for seven days a week he rakes in 1.75 miles per week, accruing just under 90 miles in a year, roughly the distance i travel, door to door, from my home in Norwalk to school in Storrs. If Hogey Hogey Hippos were to hang up his driving gloves and maybe telecommute, he would save natural resources, university funds, wear and tear on his car, AND a parking space outside of Beach Hall. Again, I may be crazy, but with such insanely economic alternatives to driving to work, Hogan is simply MAD for using such an analog means of getting shit done rather than investing 29.99 on a spongebob webcam and saving everybody, not the least of which being mother fucking earth.

well, i think i've spewed enough knowledge for one post. Thank you for reading the first edition of

KRESStionable Behavior

Next time on KRESStionable Behavior:
Wilhelm's Youtube videos have been seeing a horrific lack of views, so much so that a certain individual very close to Wilhelm has accumulated more views on just one youtube video than 100 times the combined number of views for ALL of our videos.
to add insult to injury, the video in question has to do with some seriously nasty and unfunny-by-comparison shit (no pun intended)
more on that next time...